Sin and gravel

Proverbs 20:17 (in the Authorized Version) reads, "Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel." Doug Wilson has made the point that this is true, really, for all (or, almost all) sin. After all, sin wouldn't be enticing if it weren't "sweet" to begin with. As with most of the Proverbs, there are great applications to child-rearing here. We all-to-commonly tell our children to avoid sin because its bad. "Don't hit your sister." "Don't talk to your brother like that." We address their sin on a superficial level, often for no better reason than the fact that it bugs us. "If you two don't stop fighting like that, I'm gonna send you both to your rooms!" But kids are much savvier than that--they know, when we prohibit them from something, we are keeping them from something that, at least on the surface, has some sweetness. So often, though, in reprimanding them, we ignore this fact and present them with the dictum; knock it off or else, we say. It's bad to hit your sister. But the kids know that it is actually, in some circumstances, kind of fun to hit her--especially if you can get her to hit you back, all-but ensuring that she will be the one to get into trouble. If we dealt with their sins more honestly, though, we would likely short-circuit this thought process from the beginning. "I know it seems fun to do x; but you must remember that ultimately it will turn out for the worst." Sin is sweet at the first; but, the Proverb above tells us, it ends up as appetizing as a mouthful of gravel.

Kids must be taught the principle of foresight. Many things seem good at first, including many sins. That's why we do them. But, as the Proverb teaches us, it's the end that counts. And that means a mouthful of gravel. In nurturing our children in the Lord, they must be instructed to think through things, to see their end. It is ridiculous to think of a man who just jumped off of a 100-storey building and says "O.K. so far" around the 25th floor. We need to teach our kids to make the same kind of connection when they begin down the road of a particular sin. "O.K. so far" they might say after lying about cleaning their room, and they might be right--for a time. Wise parents, though, will teach them what gravel tastes like before it gets to the point that the serving of gravel is enough to do serious harm to them.